"In Which a Conundrum of Cast Upon Spirits is Outlined and a Resolving Pick-Me-Up is Detailed"
There are times in one's life when Grey Skies frown down upon one's self, when the Rays of Apollo touching one's soul are diminished, when Smiles of Elation turn to Saturnine Sighs, and in these times of less than optimal spirits, Man has ever turned to his Oldest Recipe for means of Cheer. I speak, of course, of the Spirit Alcohol, which in it's basest form is likely to have predated any other of Mankind's Inventions. It could be said that there are Countless Varieties of Cocktails by which Man can imbibe his Joi de Vivre (although from the point of view of a Rigorous Mathematician1(and why on earth would one choose any other point of view, given a choice?) one would have to concede that this set, even given the unlikely possibility of having cardinal magnitude, must by necessity be countable), but as a Man of some Refinement and Culture, I implore you to ignore the vast lot of Possible and Improbable concoctions available as they are but Vile blends of Fruit Liquouers and Simple Syrups, mixed with the intention of Tricking the Morally Naive into consuming more than their fragile resolves can sustain. Nay, I say that it shows Magnitude of Character to Consume a drink wherein one can Taste upon his very tongue the flavor (and also requires one to put forth the required effort into actually using a Quality Liquor for one's drink, as opposed to the swaths of artificially colored and flavored distilled corn mash masquerading upon the lower levels of Liquor Stores everywhere) and quantity of Alcohol in one's cocktail. Thus I present to you, with no small amount of fan-fare, a Recipe for the most Ideal of Cocktails: The Manhattan.
The Recipe: it is a simple affair, so long as one has the means by which to calculate the most obvious of ratios and does not over-dose the bitters: One simply pours two parts straight rye whiskey(see earlier note regarding the strict avoidance of corn mash), one part sweet vermouth, and a Dash (this means one medium sharp stroke of the Angostura over the glass. Do not Over-Dose, lest the flavor becomes too Bitter-ey to bear) of bitters into a tumbler. Ice can be added or subtracted to your desire. No more than two cherries should be added, and by cherry I do not mean some congealed sphere of pinkened Xanthan Gum that has been Drowning in Syrup for the duration of its entire artifical lifespan, but an actual cherry, one who has been touched by sunlight and rain drops at some point in time, and then when ripeness was reached, was lovingly plucked and delivered to your drink within a span of 4 days maximum. For alternate flavors, one may substitute the zests of any of the acceptable range of citrus (I suppose I must offer some delimitations for those without the Taste and Refinement I have acquired through some effort through out the years: Lemon and Blood Orange are appropriate, Honey Tangelo and Ruby Red Grapefruit are not). Then swirl the glass counter clockwise several times, retire to a comfortable chair, and enjoy.
1
Combinatorists do it discretely.
(Logicians do it) or [not (logicians do it)].
Logicians do it by symbolic manipulation.
Algebraists do it in groups.
Analysts do it continuously.
Real analysts do it almost everywhere.
Pure mathematicians do it rigorously.
Topologists do it openly.
Dynamicists do it chaotically.
Mathematicians do it forever if they can do one and can do one more.
